In this article:
1. What stops you from achieving your stated goals
2. The only way you can actually fail to achieve once you have a reliable strategy and an action schedule
3. A secret about airplane food selection that improves your communication skills.
So, just for fun I am changing the format of this website. Look for differences over the next couple of weeks. The themes to the changes – “People resist unwelcome attempts to persuade them”, “People cannot resist what they cannot detect”, and “People sometimes believe what they are told – but always believe what they conclude”. These are borrowed from a master persuader Blair Warren.
There will be nothing sinister or damaging to anyone, and I will share the results with you when we finish stage one. You will enjoy that.
Now – a simple quote from Jordon Belfort – the wolf of wall street:
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it”.
The way I see it, with reference to whether you continuing to act in the direction of your goal or not, there are TWO STORIES in our heads.
First story is why you are doing the prescribed actions. You know – why you are keeping on doing the steps needed.
Second story is why you “should” stop following the program. You know – the “becauses”. Stop because you are tired, you are not sure it will work anyway, it is raining/cold/hot, you found something more interesting or maybe works better, it is expensive, no one cares, you don’t think you can get to the end anyway, your friends are visiting, you have not seen results yet (after 3 days), etc etc.
So think of these stories as being on a see-saw.
When story one has the balance – you continue. When story two in your head has enough weight – you stop. This means as soon as your STOP story is good enough – you will give yourself permission to stop.
So – you want the single “secret” to goal achievement? Providing your strategy is valid – there is only one way you can not reach your goal. Are you ready – only three words.
“Don’t Freaking Stop!”
Alter your approach from “just keep going” to “don’t freaking stop!” And the simple way to do that?
Are you ready?
Become aware of when you are creating the “Stop Story” in your head – and replace it with your “Goal Story (why you are doing it). You know – you are lying in bed rehearsing the reasons for not going to the gym – STOP it. Because as soon as the story you are rehearsing has enough weight – bye bye gym visit.
Maybe your goal is to learn to play the piano or learn Spanish. The ONLY way you can fail to achieve this is to stop doing the lessons. And we stop ONLY when the STOP STORY is good enough.
So – catch your mind doing rehearsals and brainstorming reasons to stop. Thank it for helping – and focus, focus, focus on what you get after your goal is done. Remember who is in charge here.
There you have it.
Next step – uncover some interesting goals. If none come to mind – change your state. Why? Because values and beliefs are state dependent. More on that in a future post.
Here is your choice – you can be not moving, and experience a life that is not mundane, uninspiring, declining (in your own eyes). Or you can be in motion, and experience a life that is fulfilling, satisfying, exciting to the degree that you want. When you are really old and about to snuff it – and your loved ones are around you – will you have to say “I stayed alive all this time”.
Or will you be able to say “I lived all this time.” Will you be a lump of almost dead wood stump clinging on? Or will you be a magnificent redwood who has grown and lived fully?
The difference is why we have goals. Goals are the tools to get us in motion. Once we are in motion, we grow. At any time we are either growing or dying. We get to choose how we use goals. Choosing to not use them – is a choice.
To quote myself: “If you don’t have a goal, you cannot have a plan. If you do not have a plan, you WILL only be part of someone else’s plan – and you may not like it.” It is your choice.
Here ends the sermon!
James Hooper
Ps – so what food should never be eaten on airplanes and has something to do with communication skills? Look for the next post to discover it…