Change Your Story and Drop Your Fears


Did you ever get into the rut where you and “your story” were completely different?

Where you were living a story, that you felt disconnected to – but could not stop acting as your story “demanded”?

Napoleon Hill taught about the concept of ‘accurate thinking’.   About our human habit of getting caught up in the story, and then the stories about stories.

Deming taught about the pointlessness of trying to change an outcome or results directly. “What was the process??!”

And then thus move focus to making changes in the processes that created the undesired results.

It is too late to change what already is.

We can alter how we give meaning to what is – but if your belly is layered with extra fat, or your bank balance looking too skinny – your goal can be to alter how it will be in the future.  Or it can be to play with your stories so you “feel better about it”.   And the stories with their inbuilt excuses, blaming, shaming and guilt – are attractive.

Because they allow us to retain our fear, the fear that protects us.

I watched a movies last weekend by Will Smith. “After Earth”.  In it he tells us that fear is completely imaginary.  That we create it in our minds – and we allow it.  That imagined story then makes our bodies produce physical changes – including pheromones (scents).

In the movie, an alien monster has been introduced that can only find you by smelling your fear pheromones. It then kills you.

In the midst of a battle with the monster, as he is about to die, Smith’s character becomes calm, still, centred, and accepting.  His fear dries up, he becomes invisible to the monster, and slays it.

During the film he explains that fear and danger are different. Danger WILL kill you. Fear is only an idea.

If fear was only imagined for you, as you accepted that, would you become more free now to take small action steps that were previously impossible for you?

And each step would be further evidence to prove to you that fear was only imaginary and could be dissolved?

Like when you were a kid, and there was a scary noise from under your bed?

We can lie there, frozen in fear. Or we can lean over and look under the bed to discover there is no monster, or if there is one – it is more afraid of us than we of it.

Are you living your life frozen in fear?

Lester Levinson suggested to me the idea of “trying things on for size”. Like a sweater – just try in on.  See if you like it.  You can always take it off again.

He was talking about testing a method that allowed me to realize that thoughts and feelings are NOT part of me, any more than a sweater is.

They are things that can simply be “dropped” or “let go”.

Any thought or feeling or emotion can be let go.  Including a freezing level fear.  Accept that fear and danger are different. Allow yourself to feel the fear fully, and realize that feeling is the worst that fear can do to you.  Not so bad really?

And once you feel it fully, and now know that it did not hurt you – you can just drop it. Like your old sweater into a charity bin.

Let it go.

And once you drop any fear – notice that your fears about other “scary” things you have created stories about to protect, has been weakened.  Shine your torch under your bed and the fear will disappear – but only if you eat the fear and have a look!

Perhaps fear is a bit like Pavlova. Looks impressive, but as soon as you bite it – it dissolves in your mouth leaving a sweet taste.

Have a groovy week
James

Ps When I was in Russia, they frequently used a saying that stuck with me: “The Devil does not like to be watched.”  In this moment, I can see that one face of the devil is “fear”.  When I set it apart from me, to move from being fear (I am afraid) to only having feelings of fear – I am watching the Devil – and he returns my power.

About the Author Business Coach James Hooper

Townsville based James Hooper: The term "rainmaker" is becoming regularly used in business context as someone whose role is to 'make rain' or 'create growth' in your business. In some senses the term 'business coach' is limiting as it is primarily about optimizing the effectiveness of the owner/operator. Sometimes the leverage is in the business systems rather than in the operator - and focus on that produces the preferred outcomes. Business is a game, a puzzle, a tool to get you what you want in life. Call me for a second opinion (other than yours) on how to make your business give you what you want it to.

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